iSimplify Presentations
To All The Vulnerable People Out There
Listen. Speak. Repeat
I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I’ve been lonely. I’ve seen failure. I messed up before. I tried. Wherever you are in the world, you’re in the business of humans. As a fellow human, you need other humans in order to go by your life. Being human also means you have feelings. Patch Adams (aka Robin Williams) asked once, “What’s the difference between a doctor and a scientist? People. We want to become doctors because we want to help people.” If you want to be a presenter, tell a story or simply get anything done, you need to be able to help people and connect with them. And you can only connect with people by opening yourself up to being loved and hurt.
What did Brené Brown say?
Brené Brown is one of my favourite authors, researchers, podcasters, and everything in between. She said, “Vulnerability is not about winning. It’s not about losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” I can’t think of anything better than presentations to share your authentic self and put yourself out there, not knowing how people will receive it or perceive it, not matter how much you prepare for it.
We all want people to see emotional soldiers and what Jan Daudi called, an unbreakable façade. However, vulnerability allows people to get to know the true person behind the professional figure and the persona you created for yourself. It allows people to see who you really are. Doing that takes courage. Putting yourself out there takes courage.
Here are the basic components of a good story: setup, conflict and resolution. Oh no. Sorry! These are the components of a story. It’s entirely possible to tell a story by stating the facts and the sequence of events, but what truly makes a good story are the emotions behind them. How did it make you feel? How do you want the story to be perceived by others?
“Owning and bringing the emotions, all of them, the full spectrum, that’s when vulnerability comes in storytelling.” — James Robilotta
What vulnerability is for presentations and storytelling is what emotions are for the pianist. You can learn all the techniques, but without a story and a strong emotion behind the piece you’re sharing, your chances of connecting with people will be greatly diminished.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room
Vulnerable storytelling is almost always confused with dumping the trauma or sharing the very intimate details of our personal lives. What that does is alienate people, as Jan Daudi said. Instead of thinking, “Yes! I can related to that”, you’ll feel like someone threw you into the deep end of the ocean and left it up to you to sink or swim.
“You can take people down to the basement but you’ve got to get make sure you bring them back up the stairs.” — Andy Henriquez
Before you talk about any heavy material, read the room. As James Robilotta said, if you’re talking about something deep, dark or potentially polarizing, make sure you set it up because trauma is so easily relived. You need to come up to the stage with a purpose and goal in mind. It’s important that you process your trauma before you share it with others.
As Rachel DeAlto says, “We tell stories for intention, not attention.” As a presenter, always remember that it’s not about you; it’s about the fellow humans you are serving with your presentation. Don’t allow your audience to become your therapists without permission, as Jan Daudi said. You have to admit it though, every single one of us is fighting a battle, no matter our background. Or so the famous saying goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” But when you put your true self out there, you come across as relatable.
Practice the Marvel comics
Here’s the key takeaway from this for most: we can’t learn from people who are perfect. Unless you bring your real, genuine and authentic self, you’ll never be perceived as relatable. Your credentials, as James Robilotta said, represent what you do, who you know and your results. However, they never made a good leader or a speaker. What matters to people is how you received your title. It’s not your degree, but what you do with it that people will connect with.
On that account, here’s a shoutout to all the great leaders who practice what James Robilotta called, “courageous feedback”. Have you ever sat in a room with someone who told you how they think you should do something and how to go by the book? I have. Those feedback conversations hurt like a mf (excuse the lingo). If you’re a leader, practice how the Marvel comics portray their heroes: share a version of yourself that is successful enough but has flaws in it that gives you a human quality. That’s honestly what matters to people.
When you’re telling your story, people love to hear about your five F’s, as John Zimmer said: Firsts, Fears, Frustrations, Failures, and Fiascos. We’ve all had first times. We’ve all been lonely. We’ve all been afraid. We’ve all failed at something we worked for. Maybe you don’t need to use all of them in one speech, but if you use the right amount, guaranteed you will make an impact.
The pandemic was quite the equalizer, wasn’t it? It doesn’t matter how how healthy you are, everyone was put in a lockdown. Everyone was disconnected from loved ones. That’s how you should think of your story when you share it with others.
Listen. Speak. Repeat.
How do you open up your mind and heart as a leader, as a speaker and as a fellow human to learn about the experiences of other people? Before you can make an impact on other people, you have to learn to listen and develop empathy for everyone comes with their own story. Everyone deserves a chance to be heard.
Contrary to the common belief (or misbelief), vulnerability is not a weakness. If it’s such a weakness, why is it so damn hard?, as James Robilotta said. How you lead, how you feel, how you think, and how you speak are keys to how you present your vulnerable story so that you can truly connect with other people!
I hope I inspired you to tell your story and bring your true self to the table. If you like this story, share it with others. Follow my Website, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter for more stories.
